Speed Dating

Being pretty bored and whatnot, I decided to go on a speed dating thing to meet new people at the college there a few days ago.

Me: Hello.
Girl #1: Hi, what's your name?
Me: Oh I'm not at liberty to divulge that as this is going to be scripted exactly as it happened somewhere and cannot disclose that information just now.
Girl #1: oooookay, tell me a bit about yourself.
Me: and what? you can get a perfect judge of me from a minute or two of an introduction, that wouldn't even be long enough to get over the initial impression and fright you've received from the fact I'm recording this. I can't see how this speed dating thing took off if you get what I'm saying and another thing-
*beep*
Me: Hello.
Girl #2: Hello. My name's girl #2, what's yours?
Me: Oh I'm not at liberty to divulge that as this is going to be scripted exactly as it happened somewhere and cannot disclose that information just now.
Girl #2: eh... so where're you from and all y'know.
Me: and what? you can get a perfect judge of me from a minute or two of an introduction, that wouldn't even be long enough to get over the initial impression and fright you've received from the fact I'm recording this. I can't see how this speed dating thing took off if you get what I'm saying and another thing-
*beep*
Me: Hello.
Girl #3: Hey.
Me: Oh I'm not at liberty to divulge that as this is going to be scripted exactly as it happened somewhere and cannot disclose that information just now.
Girl #3: To divulge what?
Me: My name.
Girl #3: I didn't ask...
Me: Oh, sorry...
*beep*
Me: Hello.
Girl #4: So... who are you?
Me: Oh I'm not at liberty to divulge that as this is going to be scripted exactly as it happened somewhere and cannot disclose that information just now.
Girl #4: can you tell me a bit about yourself then?
Me: and what? you can get a perfect judge of me from a minute or two of an introduction, that wouldn't even be long enough to get over the initial impression and fright you've received from the fact I'm recording this. I can't see how this speed dating thing took off if you get what I'm saying and another thing-
*beep*
Me: Hello.
Girl #5: Hi, what's your name?
Me: well they call me Jane, but that's not my name.
Girl #5: What? Is your name Jane?
Me: Oh I'm not at liberty to divulge that as this is going to be scripted exactly as it happened somewhere and cannot disclose that information just now.
Girl #5: Where're you from and all?
Me: and what? you can get a perfect judge of me from a minute or two of an introduction, that wouldn't even be long enough to get over the initial impression and fright you've received from the fact I'm recording this. I can't see how this speed dating thing took off if you get what I'm saying and another thing-
*beep*
(10 minutes later)
Me: Hello.
Girl #10: I'm Girl #10, and you are?
Me: Oh I'm not at liberty to divulge that as this is going to be scripted exactly as it happened somewhere and cannot disclose that information just now.
Girl #10: Riiiiiiigggghhhtt... What course are you doing and all?
Me: and what? you can get a perfect judge of me from a minute or two of an introduction, that wouldn't even be long enough to get over the initial impression and fright you've received from the fact I'm recording this. I can't see how this speed dating thing took off if you get what I'm saying and another thing-
*beep*
Me: Hey.
Girl #11: Hey, what's your name?
Me: Oh I'm not at liberty to divulge that as this is going to be scripted exactly as it happened somewhere and cannot disclose that information just now.
Girl #11: uh-huh, talk a bit about yourself.
Me: and what? you can get a perfect judge of me from a minute or two of an introduction, that wouldn't even be long enough to get over the initial impression and fright you've received from the fact I'm recording this. I can't see how this speed dating thing took off if you get what I'm saying and another thing-
*beep*
Me: Hello.
Girl #12: Hi, what's your name?
Me: Oh I'm not at liberty to divulge that as this is going to be scripted exactly as it happened somewhere and cannot disclose that information just now.
Girl #12: Where're you from and all?
Me: and what? you can get a perfect judge of me from a minute or two of an introduction, that wouldn't even be long enough to get over the initial impression and fright you've received from the fact I'm recording this. I can't see how this speed dating thing took off if you get what I'm saying and another thing-
*no beep*
Me: eh... isn't it time the buzzer should beep?
Girl #12: It should've, mustn't be always the same length or something. What's the 'another thing'?
Me: em... well I had planned that the monologue would end mid-senten-
*beep*
(continues the same for an hour)
Me: Hello.
Girl #37: Hi, what's your name?
Me: Oh I'm not at liberty to divulge that as this is going to be scripted exactly as it happened somewhere and cannot disclose that information just now.
Girl #37: oooookay, tell me a bit about yourself.
Me: and what? you can get a perfect judge of me from a minute or two of an introduction, that wouldn't even be long enough to get over the initial impression and fright you've received from the fact I'm recording this. I can't see how this speed dating thing took off if you get what I'm saying and another thing-
*beep*
Me: See, your the last person and I haven't managed to get a word out of anyone... the system doesn't work!
Girl #37: Y'know I was with you already, you said the exact same thing... why don't you actually tell me something about yourself.
Me: Well... I find repetition very funny. Then I noticed I had every girl saying the exact same thing and had to edit it cos that seemed far too robotic... as a result I don't even know if the original idea was funny. FORGIVE ME READERS!
Girl #37: Stop shouting at your tape recorder, Nutter!