Crazy Basketball

Asides from the GAA Summer Camps, fights with teachers and other students telling me I was crap in a subtle way; about a thousand other things put me off PE in school... If this blog runs long enough, it will eventually get to the point that this blog is nothing but PE orientated rage.
...but let's ignore that, here's another reason why I hate PE.

I'm not sure how commonly this game is played... maybe it hasn't been played anywhere since schools finally gained the funding to afford basketball hoops, but anyways.

If you can't read post titles, the game was called "Crazy Basketball". It was known as chair basketball at the start, but at the same time as all the colourless 80s books were being replaced with new shiny ones, this game gained a new hip now name... much like "Praise to the Faith" or whatever the religion one was called got replace by the new "Alive-O"(which sounds like something that'd be said at a black baptist church... and everyone knew the Reverend Al Green was the coolest man to every 10 year old in the world back then(asides from the bald fella from Eiffel 65 and Lou Bega).

Anyways here was the premise.

• Two teams involved... due to the size of the classroom and the fact there was only one teacher refereeing, this was often teams of 15 vs 14 or such.
• One basketball
• Two chairs at either end where there would normally be hoops
• One child from each team had to stand on a chair
• They had to hold their hands in a big hoop
• The rest of their team had to play basketball normally but used the human arm-formed hoop to score

Every single time that this was done, the two crappest players were placed up on top of a chair each.... so that included me every. single. time.
This became an extremely common PE choice for lord knows what reason(it might've had something to do with the fact that every piece of sports equipment asides from the basketballs were repeatedly stolen). This meant that most weeks I had the fun of not only having basketballs being flung at me for a whole hour and a half, but I was literally put up on a f*cking pedestal for it.
At least with this "sport", my suppressed rage (for once) exploded at a perfectly suitable time(all other situations are currently in the process of being judged to see which is most blogworthy, so I cannot give examples here). I was chosen to be the target for the umpteenth week and I completely lost it.
For the first few minutes I just stood there letting the ball belt me in the face. I had just seen a Rocky film where he managed to defeat the fella from The A-Team by absorbing all the pain at the start... plus Hulk Hogan used to just let the opponent hit him repeatedly while he was 'Hulking Up'.
Then I started punching balls back straight into the faces of whoever threw them at me. This was the one part of Gaelic Football that I was good at so I managed to break the noses of at least two people!
There was one break in play where they told me to stoppit, I agreed.
I then jumped down on this one fella who used to just aim to hit me in the face.
Big brawl ensued.
I got slaughtered.

While the method of expressing my point was hugely frowned upon, it got the point across and the rules were changed.
The new setup was that whoever the last person to score was would also be the person up on the chair. A huge success for pieces of shit like me schoolwide, who now only had to stay up on the chair until someone scored.
The only problem was that all the other students didn't wanna be up on the chair, so no one ever scored again. The only thing worse than standing on a pedestal getting stuff flung at you is standing up on a pedestal for a whole 90 minutes without anything happening at all.