or as it was called by the british media at the time "Our 9/11".
I was on a terrible holiday to England at that point and the one day I stepped on London soil in all my life, was this day. It was a crappy family holiday with my aunt and without my father. Funnily enough, the last time my mother was in London was 17 December 1983.
We went into London by bus, our driver made a funny joke about bus safety with something like "we've been having lots of trouble recently with people bombing buses and whatnot, don't worry, there's a 50% chance you'll be safe with me".
I would've loved to seen his face an hour or so later as we drove in to London, which was when reports started coming in about the bombs and all.
The second we arrived in London my mother and aunt had decided on where we'd go next; back to her house! but first a cup of tea. I actually had never drank a cup of tea bought in a cafe, so I didn't know that IT'S. FUCKING. ROASTING. HOT. Cos I was thirsty I threw it all down without any inspection or anything, burnt my tongue so much that it was black for the rest of the holiday.
At the same time, here in Ireland most out relatives had came to some extremely logical conclusions.
- We were in London
- These bombs had killed 25 people so far
- London has a population in or arounds of 25 people so we must be dead
- It'd be a wise time to send their condolences to my father
I spend the whole of mass playing with my tongue til my family have to leave cos of all my "funny tongue behaviour" straight up at the priest. Where to now? Do Starbucks serve tea? May as well check it out! I yawned with boredom.
While walking through the crowded streets to the nearest scent of tea we gather up some more news, apparently a load of public transpot was bombed, current death total: 25.
I say something along the lines of "that's the shittest terrorist attack ever!" My older brother beats the shit out of me. I yawned with boredom.
My younger brother then says "was it done by Osama Bin Laden?" My older brother, mother and aunt beat the shit out of him saying "they'll suspect us of it, we're irish!". I yawned with boredom.
Someone who overheard us then said "Hey those people are Irish, clearly they must be the IRA! These two middle aged women and 3 boys done all the bombings"
We got killed by a mob and received the whole blame. The End!
9 comments:
There is something wonderfully not trying-to-be-politically-incorrect polictially-incorrect about this.
You are a wonderfully odd chap.
With a somewhat suspicious mother.
"there's a 50% chance you'll be safe with me"." - Better chances that Ireland then eh?
I wasn't trying to be politically incorrect... asides from the end bit, but that's cos I was tight on time.
Chernobyl has safer public transport than most parts of Ireland.
I remember our schoolbus used to have holes in it that we threw things out of... I think they were called windows?
"Hey those people are Irish, clearly they must be the IRA!"
Ah, sweet memories - there's nothing like England in the 80's for a paddy, eh?
"that's the shittest terrorist attack ever!"
Heh, it was a bit lame alright.
Not quite as impressive as the one in glasgow though.
this was his third attempt
sheepy: I imagine it must've been great, I've only got to hear the great stories from relatives.
morgor: maybe he was trying to do a suicide bombing in order to get himself to heaven or whatever they call it, but didn't wanna kill anyone else so made it purposefully crap?
...and my brother just asked me why I was in a site called "the third penis of dana".
y'know the way some people write 'lol' after anything even vaguely amusing they've read and it gets a bit annoying? well this might might be the first time I have ever read a blog and laughed out loud. So...LOL
Genius! :)
I was working in London at the time, and to be honest shit or not it killed people. I had to go through a roster of staff to make sure they were not caught up in it, respond to anxious relatives etc etc. Not particularly funny or amusing. At least when the RA bombed London they gave warnings, and fewer innocents were killed.
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